People don’t want perfect communicators, but they do want authentic ones. Speakers who are open and real in their communication are attractive because they share their failures as well as their successes. They can be honest and direct while still being empathetic toward others. It takes courage to be transparent, and people admire that in communicators—especially when those speakers value their listeners.
“Almost anybody can accomplish almost anything if they work at it long enough, hard enough, and smart enough.”
What you repeatedly do tells others who you are.
Nothing is easier than saying words. Nothing is harder than living them, day after day. If you give good advice but set a bad example, you confuse—and eventually lose—your audience. Consistency is crucial if you want to become a good communicator.
I would not teach anything I did not wholeheartedly believe.
I would not teach anything I did not wholeheartedly believe. Making that choice gave my delivery greater conviction. A few years later, I decided to take that decision one step further. I would not teach anything I was not trying to live. That choice added greater credibility to my conviction because it committed me to being an example of what I taught. As James Kouzes and Barry Posner say, “The truth is that you either lead by example or you don’t lead at all. Seeing is believing, and your constituents have to see you living out the standards you’ve set and the values you profess.”
Roddy Galbraith, who has taught more than forty thousand Maxwell Leadership Certified Team coaches how to speak effectively, gives this advice to new speakers to help them choose material: Relive what you have learned, allowing the audience to relive it with you. Earn the audience’s respect by sharing your wins and gain their love by sharing your failures. Decide what you shall speak on by choosing what you have lived out. Following this advice helps give these new speakers the credibility they need.
When words and actions don’t line up for a speaker, he not only confuses the audience; he loses the audience.
The “weight” of a communicator’s words is determined by what they have accomplished. Where have you been successful? What skills have you acquired and used that you can pass on to others? You cannot give what you do not have. If you have not yet developed high competence in an area of your life that you want to teach about, then begin by working on that area and learning. Become great at what you do and then teach out of the overflow of your life. Competent people earn the right to speak into the lives of others.
Why do you desire to speak to others? What is your motivation? Are you genuinely there for the audience, to advance their cause? Or are you doing it for yourself? To advance your career? Promote your business? Get a book deal? Become famous? Those motives may not be wrong, but none of them builds trust. First and foremost, you must speak to benefit others. If you struggle with this, the Law of Connecting (chapter 7) and the Law of Adding Value (chapter 15) will help you.
If you speak regularly to the same people, the best thing you can do is develop good relationships with them. If you’re in situations where you can’t develop individual relationships, then be relational. Care about your listeners as people, be transparent and authentic, and live what you speak, and people will like you.
Every time you prepare to speak, ask yourself, Is this something I know? Is this something I feel? Is this something I do? Look for a yes to all three questions, and work to keep those things in alignment.