“My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions.”
I’m curious about everything, and if I’m at a cocktail party, I often ask my favorite question: “Why?” If a man tells me he and his family are moving to another city: “Why?” A woman is changing jobs: “Why?” Someone roots for the Mets: “Why?” On my television show, I probably use this word more than any other. It’s the greatest question ever asked, and it always will be. And it is certainly the surest way of keeping a conversation lively and interesting.
Whenever I am preparing for a meeting with someone, I spend time determining what questions I want to ask. I do this because I want to make the most of the time I have, but I also do it to engage with the other person. I want people to know that I value them, and that, if possible, I want to add value to them. To do that, I believe I must get to know them. That requires that I ask questions, they talk, and I listen. And if I hope to receive value from people, again I need to ask questions and listen. You can’t do these things unless you get to know people. I encourage the use of questions to engage others and to learn from them. I believe you will find it one of the most rewarding practices you ever develop.
I am a strong believer in the power of ideas and of shared thinking. Any idea gets better when the right people get a chance to add to it and improve it. And good ideas can become great ones when people work together to improve them. I believe so strongly in this idea that in
I am a strong believer in the power of ideas and of shared thinking. Any idea gets better when the right people get a chance to add to it and improve it. And good ideas can become great ones when people work together to improve them.
When we meet, I come armed with questions. Many are specific to the individuals I’m meeting with.
What is the greatest lesson you have learned? By asking this question I seek their wisdom. What are you learning now? This question allows me to benefit from their passion. How has failure shaped your life? This question gives insight into their attitude. Who do you know whom I should know? This allows me to engage with their network. What have you read that I should read? This question directs my personal growth. What have you done that I should do? This helps me seek new experiences. How can I add value to you? This shows my gratitude and desire to add value to them.
What is the key to shared thinking? Asking the right people the right questions. There’s great power in doing that. As speaker Brian Tracy says, “A major stimulant to creative thinking is focused questions. There is something about a well-worded question that often penetrates to the heart of the matter and triggers new ideas and insights.”
As you bring people to your table to share ideas, be selective about whom you pick. Choose people who Understand the value of questions Desire the success of others Add value to others’ thoughts Are not threatened by others’ strengths Can emotionally handle quick changes in the conversation Understand their place of value at the table Bring out the best thinking in the people around them Have experienced success in the area under discussion Leave the table with a “we” attitude, not a “me” attitude
Thomas Edison observed, “The ideas I use are mostly the ideas of people who don’t develop them.” Making it a practice to ask the right people the right questions will allow you to develop ideas to a whole new level.
“The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observation, not overturning it.”
When I was the lead pastor at Skyline in San Diego, our staff did extensive interviews with people when they became members of the church. One of the questions we always asked was “What is the main thing you would change about the church?” That question paid great dividends because their fresh eyes saw things that ours did not. I would estimate that 80 percent of the positive changes we made were the result of what people told us in answer to those questions.
“The future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out.”
If you want to make discoveries, if you want to disrupt the status quo, if you want to make progress and find new ways of thinking and doing, you need to ask questions. Questions are the first link in the chain of discovery and innovation.
“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” —Anthony Robbins
Learning to write was no easy task for me. While writing my first book, I worked for four hours one night in a hotel room and had only one poorly written paragraph to show for it. But I persevered. And after many months of effort I completed Think on These Things. It contained thirty-three chapters, each of which was only three to four pages, but it was a start.
In 1995 I decided that I wanted to mentor ten people on an ongoing basis. I did that because I knew that adding value to people with high potential who are hungry to grow is one of the best investments a leader can make.
“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the only one who asked why.”
when a leader makes a bad decision, it affects not only him but many other people.
Questions are the basis of learning. But they are also a foundation for better leadership.
I realized in that moment that good leaders ask themselves questions.
After my session with Coach, I couldn’t wait to get home, spend some time in my thinking chair, and write down what questions I should be asking myself every day as a leader.
I have come to the realization that by asking myself tough questions, I can maintain my integrity, increase my energy, and improve my leadership capacity.
learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job.”
“The book you don’t read can’t help you; the seminar you won’t attend can’t change your life. The business gets better when you get better. Never wish it were easier, wish you were better.”
What I didn’t realize until the book had been written and I starting speaking about it was that many people don’t have a dream. I was shocked. My life has been filled with hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Because of that, I assumed that everyone had at least one dream. I was wrong. Why does that matter? Because the size of your dream determines the size of your investment. If your dream is large, you will invest in yourself to achieve it. If you have no dream, you may not invest in yourself at all.
“My friends didn’t believe I could become a successful speaker, so I did something about it. I went out and found some new friends.”
“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” If you have friends who light your inner fire, you are very fortunate; they will make you want to keep investing in yourself and growing. If you don’t, find some, because nothing is more important for your potential as a leader than your personal daily growth.
Naturally gifted leaders have capabilities that they can easily use for personal advantage. They see things before others do, and they often see more than others see. As a result, they enjoy the advantage of having good timing and seeing the big picture. That puts them in a position to make the most of opportunities.